Marry Me Not
🧠 Opening Chaos
After a brief reading break, I’ve dusted off the Kindle, stretched my reviewing muscles, and returned to the scene of the crime.
Did I choose peace?
Absolutely not.
I chose another mafia romance.
Let’s get this investigation started, baby.
Warm up the snacks.
Time to see what’s poppin’.
Welcome to Marry Me Not, Book 2 in the House of Ferraro series by Gabrielle Sands.
And honestly?
This one surprised me.
Because yes, it had mafia nonsense.
Yes, it had arranged marriage.
Yes, it had powerful men who communicate about as well as a broken printer.
But it was also funny.
Soft.
Heartfelt.
And somehow gave us a mafia husband who spent one million dollars on a dress because his wife was sad.
I know that’s right.
📚 Plot + Vibe Dump
This book features Cosimo Ferraro and Fabiana Massero.
Now y’all remember Fabiana.
She is one of the four best friends who accidentally sent an engagement party invitation to the one friend who was not invited to the engagement party.
Yeah.
Her.
Fabiana is the one who ends up engaged.
She is a former event planner at the UN, lived in Geneva, has a twin sister, and got fired one month before she could give her notice.
Baby, timing said:
“You thought.”
She is also a self-styled art expert who decides to launder some of her brother’s money by buying art and putting on an art showcase in a gallery that is also cleaning his money.
As one does.
That is where she first bumps into Cosimo.
They’re standing in front of a painting called The Bride’s Door.
He thinks it looks unfinished.
She thinks the artist is a genius.
The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.
Cosimo is twenty-eight, has dark blue eyes, and a crown-of-thorns tattoo around his neck.
So we are already going with the Jesus theme.
How very savior of him.
💀 Character Crimes Section
🖤 Cosimo Ferraro
Cosimo starts this book acting like a complete asshole.
Not regular asshole.
Gold, silver, and bronze medalist in asshole behavior.
He thinks Fabiana might be working with Vita to spy on him, so he treats her like a threat instead of the sheltered, naïve, sweet mafia princess she actually is.
But once he realizes Fabiana is not scheming?
She is just innocent, kind, and completely unprepared for the shark tank she married into?
Something shifts.
And baby, when Cosimo shifts, he shifts.
This man is quiet.
Strategic.
Controlled.
A man of action and very few words, as a mafia man should be.
He is not out here giving speeches.
He is observing.
Calculating.
Planning.
And trying very hard not to feel things because apparently feelings make it harder to take down Vita the Vicious.
But Fabiana gets under his skin.
She sees him.
She understands his complexity.
She does not try to change him.
She just wants to understand him and give him a gentle place to fall.
The problem?
Cosimo has never had a gentle place to fall.
So when he finally gets one?
The man starts malfunctioning emotionally.
🖤 Fabiana Massero
Fabiana is naïve.
Gentle.
Kind.
Sheltered.
But she is not stupid.
Let me say that again.
Fabiana is not stupid.
She may not know how to navigate the mafia world even though she is a mafia princess, but she is sharper than people give her credit for.
She knows when to speak.
She knows what to say.
And when she finally grows a backbone and lets Vita have it?
I was seated.
Fabiana came from a horrible father who only saw value in her as a girl who could be married off for alliances.
That kind of upbringing will do a number on your confidence.
So when Cosimo reminds her who she is?
Baby.
That hit.
👗 The Dress Situation
Lord have mercy.
Cousin Tony thought he was an atelier.
He designed Fabiana a dress for an art show at the Guggenheim, and the rhinestones started falling off because of body heat.
Then the dress photographed transparent.
TRANSPARENT.
Fabiana thought she was giving Tony a chance, but baby, Tony gave her a lawsuit with seams.
She should have listened to Cosimo.
But did she?
No.
So there she is, embarrassed and upset, and Cosimo sees her about to fall apart.
What does this man do?
He spots a dress in a case that is up for auction.
A dress worn by Marilyn Monroe.
And pays one million dollars on the spot so Fabiana will not cry anymore.
Now that is peak mafia husband territory.
I see you, Cosimo.
And the funniest part?
Cosimo is apparently cheap.
So his accountant calls like:
“Did somebody steal your credit cards?”
Then basically asks if Cosimo is under the influence because this man has detailed notes saying not to run his cards over $250,000.
Cosimo says:
“I have a very expensive wife.”
And the accountant has the nerve to call Fabiana a depreciating asset.
Sir.
Do you enjoy breathing?
Because Cosimo absolutely threatened to kill him for that.
And honestly?
Fair.
😭 The Moment That Got Me
Fabiana starts apologizing to Cosimo for embarrassing him.
She says she would have walked out the back door and gotten a ride home so she would not embarrass him further.
And Cosimo tells her:
“You need to remember who the fuck you are, Fabiana.”
Then he reminds her that she came there on his arm and she is leaving on his arm through the front, with her head held high.
I know that’s right.
Google yourself, Fabiana.
Because that was the moment Cosimo stopped just being the man she married for six months and started sounding like a husband.
A real one.
😒 Side-Eye Section
Now Fabiana.
Girl.
A stranger tells you your husband paid one million dollars for your dress, and now you’re spiraling about being cursed?
Baby, be serious.
A man just dropped a million dollars because you were sad.
This is not a curse.
This is a black card with emotional support benefits.
Pull yourself together.
Also, Cosimo and Fabiana make this six-month marriage deal where they’ll get an annulment after six months because apparently everyone in mafia romance thinks temporary marriage contracts are legally binding against feelings.
That plan has never worked in the history of these books.
Not once.
But sure.
Proceed.
🔥 Museum Heat Check
Before they even leave the museum, Vita calls Fabiana and tries to manipulate her.
Vita tells Fabiana she needs to convince Cosimo to step aside and let Vita become Don so they can have a real marriage filled with love.
First of all, ma’am.
Mind your villain business.
Second of all, Fabiana finally lets Vita have it.
Dressed her down with the quickness.
Then Vita has the nerve to say Fabiana cannot hold Cosimo’s attention.
And that?
That sends Cosimo over the edge.
Because he tells Fabiana:
“You’re all I think about.”
Then he stalks her down until her body is pinned against the wall, and they kiss.
Somebody grab a fire extinguisher because it got hot up in here.
💔 What Actually Hurt
Nobody stood up for Cosimo.
Not even his father.
Vita put cigarettes out on Cosimo’s arms.
And when the evidence of those burns was staring Gino Ferraro directly in the face, he still distanced himself from his own son.
Something cracked inside Cosimo because Fabiana standing up for him was the first time he ever felt like somebody cared about him.
And he did not know what to do with it.
That part?
That worked.
Because under all the mafia strategy, coldness, and control, Cosimo is a man who was brutalized by a woman who hated children and abandoned by a father who should have protected him.
Vita was a cancer.
And I do not mean sun signs and astrology.
I mean a disease that rots everything from the inside.
That woman was vile.
I’ll leave it at that.
📉 Chaos Corner
Now Gabrielle Sands.
Girl.
We were circling this airport for about 300 pages.
At some point, we needed to land the plane.
The will-they-won’t-they started wearing me out.
We know they want each other.
They know they want each other.
The furniture probably knows they want each other.
But here we go.
Nobody is talking.
Everybody is afraid.
Everybody is emotionally constipated.
All these highly educated, powerful people, and nobody knows how to open their mouth and communicate.
Y’all need to start talking like a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Just clacking away until somebody tells the truth.
✅ Mafia Man Checklist
When Fabiana goes missing, Cosimo finally finds her and says he would burn the whole town to the ground if something happened to her.
So let’s check the mafia man list:
Burn the world down? Check.
Amex black card? Check.
Powerful, controlling, obsessive? Check.
Too afraid to express his feelings? Check.
Will skin anybody alive who touches his wife? Check.
Touch her and die energy? Check.
Cosimo Ferraro passed the inspection.
Barely communicative, but qualified.
😏 What Worked
This book was surprisingly funny.
It also felt good.
Heartfelt.
There was violence, but it was tame compared to some of the mafia nonsense I have survived lately.
This was more of a falling-in-love story with mystery and suspense running alongside the romance.
And it was well written.
The characters were fleshed out, complex, dynamic, and real enough that I cared about them.
The mafia structure worked too.
There was hierarchy.
There was a system.
There was even a vote for the next Don.
I love when the mafia actually mafias.
Do not just give me a man in a suit and call him dangerous.
Give me structure.
Give me politics.
Give me consequences.
Give me somebody whispering about votes like this is organized crime with a board meeting.
💔 What Could Have Been Better
This book was about fifty pages too long.
The will-they-won’t-they stretched a little too far.
It took us until about eighty percent to get to the love part of the love story, but I will say this:
It did not feel rushed.
The feelings were on the page.
The descriptions worked.
The nuance was there.
And the writing flowed smoothly.
So even though I wanted the plane landed sooner, I still enjoyed the flight.
Mostly.
🔥 Spice Rating
🌶️🌶️
Two chili peppers.
There was heat, but this was more emotional tension than full chaos.
Optional tag:
“Slow burn with a black card.”
📊 Damage Report
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Four stars.
A strong mafia romance with heart, humor, and a man who weaponized a million-dollar dress purchase.
🧨 Final Verdict
I liked this book.
A lot more than I expected to.
Cosimo started off acting like an ass, but once the layers came back, I understood him.
Fabiana started off sheltered and uncertain, but she grew into herself.
Together, they worked because they had common wounds.
Fabiana came from a father who treated her like an alliance tool.
Cosimo came from a mother who tortured him and a father who turned away.
Both of them knew what it felt like to be unseen.
And somehow, in the middle of mafia politics, arranged marriage, Vita’s villain nonsense, and a fake six-month deal that fooled absolutely no one, they became each other’s safe place.
That is what made the romance work.
Not the money.
Not the dress.
Not the mafia title.
The softness.
The fact that Fabiana gave Cosimo somewhere gentle to land, and Cosimo reminded Fabiana that she was never as small as her family made her feel.
That’s good romance.
💬 Signature Outro
This book needed:
about fifty fewer pages,
one communication workshop,
Cousin Tony banned from fabric stores,
Cosimo’s accountant placed under witness protection,
Vita the Vicious locked in a room with her own consequences,
Fabiana to Google herself twice a day,
and Cosimo to understand that buying a million-dollar dress because your wife is sad is not financial irresponsibility.
It is romance.
I look forward to Book 3.